I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
