You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
