D3 body, D1 cock
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you never un-have a 4some
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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