Dual....:-)
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
