this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
