I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
