First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's like iHOP with fire
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
