You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
