Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When did angry sex become our thing?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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