I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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