woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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