I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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