I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
