how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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