Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
