Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
