I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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