im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
