He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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