I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
