I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
now i know why i became what i already was.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize