We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize