Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
