he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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