he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
