ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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