she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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