Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
