I just saw a hot homeless man
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
