I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
