im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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