D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
