I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
