capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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