I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
