my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
