Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
