i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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