let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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