I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
