so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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