Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
