Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
