Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
