You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
