oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize