I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
