is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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