frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
