Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize