We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone came in the potted fern
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
