bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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