Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
