Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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