and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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