Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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