I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
