I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
