oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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