VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
