All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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